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Author Topic: jan. 23 birthday of a legend  (Read 1375 times)

cgonzales

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jan. 23 birthday of a legend
« on: January 22, 2007, 08:22:04 PM »

tues jan 23 will be John Browning's birth day.
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"HE THAT HATH NO SWORD, LET HIM SELL HIS GARMENT AND BUY ONE."
Jesus Christ (Luke 22:36)

arnold

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Re: jan. 23 birthday of a legend
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2007, 04:54:37 PM »

My birthday is in May. But John Browing is still the god of firearms
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I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

grlaun

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Re: jan. 23 birthday of a legend
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2007, 02:26:22 PM »

Yes.  In celebration of Arnold's birthday, my wife has announced an official Carrollton Martial Arts holiday and a raucous purple shirt celebration will be held at Chuck E. Cheese's on I-35 & Roundgrove Rd.  There will be ballons, beer, pizza, and at my wife's request: FACE PAINTING.  There will also be mild to reserved Bacchanalia - adults only - keep the kids at home and under the blankets...! :P
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Cheat in Beginning - Cheat in the Middle - Cheat in the End
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"You're making the wrong assumption that a Marine by himself is outnumbered"
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"You tell that muthaf**ka, he owes me money!"

Nick Hughes

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Re: jan. 23 birthday of a legend
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2007, 03:15:57 PM »

I know many of you will like this...especially Arnold...

"The Holy Gospel " According to John Moses Browning

I. In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was the pistol, and it
was good.

II. John Moses Browning went up into the mountain, even unto the top of
the mountain. And he
received from the Lord the 1911, yea, and the design thereof, and
rendered it into steel.

III. And the Lord saw that the 1911 was good, and blessed it, and said
"Let it be made in .45ACP, that
you may smite thine enemies a mighty blow, for the .45ACP shall cleave
unto the 1911 as man shall
cleave unto his wife, and likewise the 1911 shall cleave also unto the
.45ACP, for this union is a holy
one, from which thou shalt not stray.

IV. So the 1911 in .45ACP came to pass, and it was good, and the
righteous therefore smote the
minions of evil, as the Lord had intended.

V. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's
design for it is good and it
worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the
designs which I, the Lord, gave
him upon the mountain.

VI. And shouldst thou muck with it and hang all manner of foul
implements upon it, and profane its
internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of
battle thou shalt surely come to
harm.

VII. And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst
forget the word of the Lord and
began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil
spring guides and extended
slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the
tolerances and alter parts to their
liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

VIII. Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the
1911 and did so alter it that it
became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a
great tax upon the purchasers of the
1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the
profaning of the internal parts didst
render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.

IX. And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an
abomination unto the Lord. For they doth
break and loose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who
have done so will be slain in
great numbers by their enemies in the great battle.

X. And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought
by man and didst cause, as he
had warned, fearful malfunction to come upon the abominations and upon
the artisans who thought
they could do no wrong.

XI. Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the
underworld did see an opportunity
to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic,
whose form was such that they
looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they
were consumed by the plastic
pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

XII. And being a deceitful spirit the lord of the underworld did make
these plastic pistols unamenable to
the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design,
and lo these pistols did
function.

XIII. And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger
didst both cock and fire them and
which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.

XIV. But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and did
proceed to shoot themselves
with the plastic pistol, and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo
their manual of arms required great
intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continued to
gloat over these new pistols
blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves
had committed.

XV. And when man had been totally ensnared with plastic pistol, the lord
of the underworld didst cause
a plague of the terrible Ka-BOOM to descend upon man and the plastic
pistols delivered their
retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of
teeth in the land.

XVI. Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that
man was truly sorrowful for
his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of
artisans who did hear and obey
the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to
their proper configuration,
and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the prophet
had intended.

XVII. And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and
profaners from the land, and there was
joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried
occasionally to prey on the men and
women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by
the followers of John."
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Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I am attacking.
--Ferdinand Foch-- at the Battle of the Marne

arnold

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Re: jan. 23 birthday of a legend
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2007, 04:31:00 AM »

You have too much time on your hands. Loosen your boots.
WOW. In respect I polished my Colt Gold Cup 1911. I feel better now. I'll look great at Chuck E Cheese with my shiny gun and new purple shirt
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

grlaun

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  • Jeff 'Rawhide' Laun
Re: jan. 23 birthday of a legend
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2007, 07:19:28 AM »

In addition, my wife announced this morning that cupcakes with purple icing wil also be served. WOW!  I hope I get this much attention when its MY birthday :-\
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Cheat in Beginning - Cheat in the Middle - Cheat in the End
Official Evil Ninja - 2008
Texas Peace Officer 8/2009
"You're making the wrong assumption that a Marine by himself is outnumbered"
Gen Peter Pace, 28Jul06
"You tell that muthaf**ka, he owes me money!"

arnold

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  • oh that will get you killed
Re: jan. 23 birthday of a legend
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2007, 05:19:40 AM »

I doubt it. But I will make a special request to your wife that you need serious attention on your birhday.
No thanks needed. Happy help
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!
 

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