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[arnold]

Dear Readers,
I have been contacted by the Rose Bowl Parade Committee in regards to a new idea they have for a float next year. They want to do one of a giant head, sort of 1984 ish big brother is watching kinda thing, or possibly Mork from Ork. ( those of you who are old enough know this)
They inquired if I new any individual with a large noggin. I immediately forwarded them a picture of Uncle Nicky. They siad they may have some clearance issue between his ears and phone poles, and were worried that they could find enought pink roses to cover his thick skull. They also inquired as to wether they could drill into his head and I told them that should not be a problem as is skull is gifted with a double thickness, especially in the area of his forehead and eyebrows. I also told them he is not allergic to super glue. Plus I told them that Kentbob was available for flyovers. Show be an interesting parade

[Nick Hughes]

I wondered who those clowns were that called me at 5am this morning...jackass Californicatorans forgot I'm on a different time zone.

Anyway gentle readers...Arrgnarled Thackelwhacker is leading you astray.  When I called back later to straighten it all out they said that he had submitted a design for a float already that they had turned down....it was then he said, and I quote "the gentlaman in question became quite histrionic on the phone.  He was banging the receiver on his head to prove he had a plate in it...screaming about a Professor and a man called Hackenhammer the mullet and a superhero called Bobby Kent (no relation to Clark)

I doubted their story somewhat but they faxed over Argnarld's design and immediately I knew they were telling the truth.  Not only is it kangaroo shaped but it's purple.  Could there be any more obvious clues?




Uncle Nicky
The sane one.

[arnold]

Oh Nicky,
Our dear readers know I speak the truth. We have come to find out, that the funny white hat you wore in the FFL, had too much tin foil in it, resulting in the confusion with daily issues, and the song by Peter Frampton ( There's ringing in my ears) that keeps playing over and over in your head. The yelling on the phone was due to the poor connection as due to budget cutbacks, their phone system is not quite ideal. About the Professor and Hock, they wanted a second opinion, and I told them it did not get any better than those two.
And as for Bobby Kent, after extensive research, it has come to light that he was a former Canadian porn star whose basis for all his short films ( and we do mean short) was to try and copy Capt. Underpants. Kentbob he will never be. In a SBU ( short bus update) Kentbob has told us he has gone to speedo style undergarments for that sleek look that he has tried to capture.
As for the picture you have, that is the "Trojan Roo" that was designed to infiltrate the Roo compound back in 06'. They borrowed it from the Smithsonian Museum to pay tribute to the great roo cleansing that took place on the west coast. As for the 5 am phone call, those were probably illegal aliens calling you wanting to work on the float. As a tip, beware if they show up with a Mexican accordian. It leads to that crappy Mexican Polka music, and you will never get that garbage untuned from the tin foil in your noggin

[spanky]

[arnold]

Those appear to be uncle Nicky's half brother posing and auditioning for the parade

[arnold]

Also getting calls form the Orange Bowl committee. They want to paint the Nickster's head orange and instead of Sunkist, put Sunburnt on the side. Told them it should not be a problem

[Nick Hughes]

Humor him brothers...he really is off his meds.  The years of tin in his head, listening over and over to "purple rain" and "deep purple", living in a tin foiled house to stop the messages from the roos getting to him, has finally taken it's toll.

Here's the letter from the Orange Bowl Committee.

Orange Bowl Parade Committee
1267 Land Manatee Blvd
Sacremento, CA 31240

Dear Mr Hughes,

For the last time we have no desire to put your head in our parade...painted orange or otherwise.

Both we, and our colleagues at the Rose Bowl Organization, have been contacted in recent weeks by a strange gentleman - and we use the term loosely - from Texas who has been ranting about a superhero fly over by someone called KentBob, Kangaroo shaped floats, yourself, small dogs, short buses and a bunch of garbled gibberish about signals from outer space, medications and those god awful Italian motorcycles.

During his last tirade Mrs Betty VasDeferens became quite upset and had to comforted by several members of our staff.  He was accusing her of being a land manatee, whatever that is.

We have referred the matter to the police who have said they can't do much due to the fact he lives in Texas (why are we not surprised?) but that they will monitor the situation.

We suggest that if he persists you might visit the issue of taking out a restraining order.

Marquevius Byron-Smythe III
Parade Director

[arnold]

Well the reason this could not be me as Nick states they spoke to a strange "gentleman". I have been accused of being strange and a gentleman in the same statement. Could not have been me. And since I know for a fact, cause I looked it up, that the number for the parade committee and the local state school for the criminally insane, are very close. The nickster, with digits the size of a Roo tail, ham handed the phone buttons and got the wrong number. Since the person on the other end understodd authentic down under gibberish, they got along quite well and had what they both believed to be an intelligent conversation.
This is what happens when you have an extra thick skull and stand out in the sun in a strange hat too long. What few active cell you have boil to death and you're left with a tune in your head, which you think is "Winnie the Roo" hence the maddening dialog. And did you also notice that he something about this "Smythe" guy?