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  • May 22, 2012, 10:18:07 AM
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Author Topic: imports and weirdos  (Read 1067 times)

arnold

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imports and weirdos
« on: April 27, 2007, 01:17:47 PM »
As most of our fair readers know, along with the elimination of roos, I really like motorcycles.
So, in my quest of motorcycle greatness, I occasionally work with some people from the "More Money Than Brains Club" to get their highly expensive motorcycles into the US.
So a few weeks ago, I was contacted by a high level dealer in the land of Arnold ( CAL) to bring a bike in from Italy. Not a problem, I told them, I can do this.
So it went like this,
Personal Asst to Mr. Blah ( couch jumper on Oatbag Winfrey) Mr. Barnhart?
Yep
My name is Joe Shit the Ragman, and I represent Mr. Blah,
OK
This is in regards to the importation of blah motorcycle
OK
You stated you needed an insurance card
yep
I don't know if we can provide that at this time
OK
So that's not a problem?
Only if you don't want a title or plates on blah motorcycle
Is there any way we can get around this
Nope
Why not,
Listen sport, there's only one way to do this, my way. and if you can't follow the contract I gave you then I get to keep your motorcycle.
You would do that?
In a NY minute
Is there anything we can do?
Yeah, he can give me his P51 Mustang for an hour or 2
Why, what would that do?
It would really make me happy
What does that have to do with the motorcycle?
Nothing. It's just that when somebody asks a stupid questions after being told no, I just can't resist coming up with something as equally dumb
Are you always like this?
No, usually I'm much worse
So you HAVE to have the insurance card
Bingo, you win a cookie
What?
A cookie. Would you like chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?
What?
Just send me the insurance card sport.
Did you just call me sport?
That's right, Bucko.
I don't like being called sport
OK, dipstick.
AGHHH, I'll get the insurance card!
Thanks..... Sport!

And people wonder why I'm nuts
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

whitewolf

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2007, 04:55:07 AM »
Arnold------What in the hell  are u  talking about???? I  just finished teaching and got  smacked in the head so i cant F-----comprehend-sorry-whitewolf  in the land of camels  kuwait..
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arnold

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2007, 06:26:18 AM »
I imported a motorcycle for a member of the more money than brains club ( rich hollywood type) It was a brief of the conversation that I had with the individuals personal assistant. But it is quite the bike. It's called a Vyrus. Skeletal frame, Ducati race motor, 220 HP rear wheel, 367 pounds. I rode it in Ital and even with my oversize pretty ass on board, I still hit 199 mph on the front straight at Monza.
Stay safe
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

grlaun

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2007, 07:15:48 AM »
If you think thats bad.  Ask Arnold about his mortgage experiences...

The cycle story is pretty tame (but typical of Arnold's award winning customer service)
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whitewolf

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2007, 08:07:21 AM »
I  love  you  guys-as for the bike it  sounds fantastic-and as for the personal assistant to the more money  than  brains-box him up and send him to  me-ill take him out to the desert north of kuwait city and drop him off at one of the "fun Camps"-that will make him think before speaking..........whitewolf
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arnold

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2007, 10:58:07 AM »
Update,
"Sport" finally sent me the insurance doc that he thought I was looking for. When what to my wondering eyes did appear on the fax,The wrong document, of fucking course. Now I'm goint to have to go and talk to this numbskull again. I just as soon file my teeth with a chain saw. I have had to speak to this condecending ass kissing dork twice already, and this bonehead still can't get it right. I have to wonder what this jackass gets paid, probably more than the average guy from the FFL.
So I'll ventuire off into the world of the weid once again to see if "Sport"can get it right. Hopefully 3rd times the charm.
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

Milldog1776

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #6 on: May 03, 2007, 12:23:48 PM »
Please post that conversation as well.  :D
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arnold

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2007, 01:39:56 PM »
will do!
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

Milldog1776

  • Guest
Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2007, 03:31:40 PM »
Say arnold,

Would Mr. Blah also be part of a crazy as Hell mind controlling, touchy feely cult thing?
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whitewolf

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2007, 09:27:03 PM »
I am  waiting for his latest reply also-what a schmuck he is................stay safe,whitewolf
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whitewolf

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2007, 09:28:49 PM »
Not you  Arnold-I am refering to Mr Blah-as the schmuck-whitewolf
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arnold

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2007, 09:17:49 AM »
Update,
Called above mentioned personal assistant. Coversation went something like this

Mr. Buttwipe?
Yes?
This is Arnold.
Who?
Arnold, the guy you spoke to yesterday about the insurance card for the motorcycle. Remember, I called you sport?
Oh yes, now I remember. You're quite the dreadful young man
Dreadful, wow, that's really a step up for me. But thanks anyway. Listen sport, I have to have the insurance exactly as I asked for it. If you looked at your personal fax yesteday, I sent you a copy of another individauls insurance from their personal assistant and he was able to follow directions. Are you now saying you're not in the same league as this other assisatant?
Uh, well uh
Are you going to send the card or not.
Young man ( I really liked that) you have to understand. Mr. Dorkwad is a very busy man and he and I really don't have the time to deal with this. You'll just have to take what I give you.
OK Sport
What do you mean by that?
That it's OK that you can't follow simple directions and that you think you're so fucking important. Remember, the bike is in my name so if you don't do as I ask, I'll just come and pick it up and you can now deal with that little issue with your so-fucking-important boss.
WHAT
That's right Bucko, the bike is in my name. So take a lookie at your contract.
I don't have time right now.
Well if I were you, I'd pull my head out of my ass or your significant others, and get me the card.
Well I never...
Oh horseshit, Sport. You've been an ass kissing rump ranger for years. Who the hell do you thinnk you're kidding. Just get me the card so I can do my job so I can finish this so I don't have to deal with you anymore.
What do you mean  by "rump ranger"
Oh come on. You know you've been butt slammed by your buddies!
Wha What?
Oh, please, admit it. You've smoked the baloney.
You can't talk to me like that!
Yes I can and I just did. So get me the card, pronto.... SPORT!
Click.

New shirt just in for this occasion

"I see stupid people"

Aslo, since Uncle Nicky didn't reply as to the size of his noggin, we are using a metal pail to determine the head opening in the new shirts. I just hope the pail is large enough.
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

Nick Hughes

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2007, 09:35:12 AM »
My head is a perfect size...unlike your's which has been reshaped by Hock's teeth and lightening strikes. ;)

Readers...for those of you who've never seen Arnold...here is a picture of him in the morning before he puts his makeup on.  Now y'all know why he rides a motorcycle...it's because the city said if he was going to go out in public he had to cover up.



Yer Uncle Nicky
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Hard pressed on my right. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent. I am attacking.
--Ferdinand Foch-- at the Battle of the Marne

arnold

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2007, 10:40:30 AM »
Yes your head would be the perfect size if launched out of the 16 gun barrel of the USS New Jersey. As for the picture, that is a shot after the surgery. I gave them a pic of the Nickster and said all I cared about is that I looked better than him. They asked me if I wanted my head that large. I sadi no, that no bigger than the average salad bowl would be fine.
Man, ain't I a looker!
Logged
I leave you idiots alone for 5 minutes and I come back and you're all dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots
you're all a bunch of slack jawed faggots around here, this stuff will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!

Scott

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Re: imports and weirdos
« Reply #14 on: May 05, 2007, 09:58:15 AM »
Ok, Arnold, how did you manage to grow that extra hair on that 50 year old head? Since I'll hit the 5-0 next month I might want in on this trick.

Scott
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