I have actually had to cross this road; so to speak. I was associated ( He was a assocaite instructor at a Dojo I was training at) with someone who I found out, over time, was a convicted felon. Being a police officer I had to decide how I was going to deal with this. Well, I decided to stick with this guy. My reason for doing so was based on what our relationship, up to that point, was like. I had never seen or even suspected him to be a person of low morals, so I figured I'd stick with the guy. He explained his situation and several of us, all cops, checked into his story. It all seemed to be exactly what he said it was.
Soon after his past was discovered, his wife served him with a restraining order & divorce papers with absolutly no warning. We felt bad for him and rallied around him in his time of need. The Owner/ Head Instructor at the Dojo, allowed him to move in with him & his family until he could find someplace to live. Then, his soon to be ex-wife, called california and found out that he had a outstanding probation warrant. He was taken to jail and awaited his transfer/extradition back to California to clear up this matter. We, all the cops, wrote letter to his parole officer and even made several calls to discuss how this matter could be resolved. The Probation officer was not very happy with us for trying to help the guy, but we continued to try & help our friend. He stayed in jail for over 20 days awaiting his extradition and was finally released when california had'nt made any attempts to pick him up. Once released, he decided to go out to california (we are in Georgia) and clear all this up. Once in California he was put in jail for a few days to await a pobation hearing. Through some of our Martial arts connections, we made contact with a assistant D.A. in the area and discovered that the probation officer had removed al of our letters from his file & did'nt notify the probation office supervisor of any attempts to clear his name. His probation was eventually transfered to Georgia, with our help, and the probation officer was fired; there was suppossedly several issues beyond ours that got her fired.
He stayed in California, with some of our associates there, and trained for a few weeks. When he came back, he told us how thankful he was that we stood beside him when it seemed no one would. The owner/head instructor even gave him a full time job at the dojo until he could find work. Over the next few weeks, he became more & more distant with everyone; except the owners wife. I noticed this and durning a private conversation I asked about what was going on with him and was told to mind my own business and a heated discussion erupted; but no one knew that we had a disagreement- or so I thought. I was a assistant instructor also & soon found myself being a "outsider" at the dojo. So, I just left with a word; I just quit coming around at all. I was not being paid for my services, so I knew I could just leave. but Soon, I was'nt going to air my problems with anyone, I was just going to go away. The owner never called nor did my ex-con friend. About six weeks after my disappearance act, I was called to the Dojo by the owner. He wanted to know why I left. I told him most of my reasons but kept several issues to myself. The owner then told me that the ex-con had been undermining him with the parents & students of the Dojo. Which was something I addressed with the ex-con in our heated debate. The owner told me how the ex-con had told him & many others about our heated debate, but with most of the issues left out and few new (unknown to me) issues that we had suppossedly discussed. That's when I decided to ask the owner about the ex-con having a visable attraction to his wife. To my surprise he admitted he had noticed it & that a situation had occurred durning a class where the ex-con challenged the owner to "Spar" while in anger and in front of his wife. The sparring match did'nt go well for the ex-con. The ex-con appologized to the owner, that if he appearing to be challenging him; because according to him, he was'nt. Since that night, the owners wife had asked for a divorce and decided to go to see some family to decide if this was really what she wanted.
I returned to helping out at the dojo on my off time again. Durning that time I noticed the ex-con using the yahoo messenger on his computer alot and being very protective over anyone getting near his computer. He and I were not really speaking still. He privately apologized to me for what had occurred before, but got all quiet when I asked him about lying to the owner/parents/students about our conversation.
I answered the phone one day & found the ex-con had already answered it. I hung up, but heard him whispering into the phone. He then came out & asked if I minded catching any customers or phone calls for awhile he had to go get something at the store. As soon as he left, I got onto his messenger and set it to store all his IM conversations. I figured he'd not think to check it everyday & in a few days I'd see what he was up to.
I went of town that weekend and planned to check up on what he was up to when I got back. When we returned home I found 10+ messages on my phone. The messages all told me to call them and that "Something" had happened at the dojo. Well, after weeding thru all the stories I heard I found the owner at the dojo; it was sunday & the dojo was closed. Well...his wife had run off with the ex-con. There was a big blow up about it all and the owner tracked her to a hotel in atlanta (Some 200+ miles away) thru his credit card; they had actually been dumb enough to use the Dojo's credit card to get a hotel...and from there it was all down hill.
What did I learn from all this?? Well...I guess I should have gone with my 1st reaction to the situation, which was to stop associating with the ex-con right away. Since then, I've faced another situation that involved a ex-con and my martial arts quest. The 2nd time I cut my loses and soon found out that they ex-con ended up stealing money from several folks.
I guess the answer to the main question, " should we learn things from bad people.". For me, the answer is NO.
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Topic: Learning Good Things from Bad People (Read 4190 times)