General Category > Gun Fighting

Instructor Pazikas shoots fellow instructor in Texas. Accident.

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Gene is recouping and rehabbing.


Gene reports-

    "Two years ago, 5 bullets ripped through my body... Arm, Dominant hand,Lower abdomen, scrotum, bladder, intestines. I wore a colostomy bag for 4 months, I would STILL be wearing it if it weren't for the generosity of the Systema community.

    I know its been two years because of the calendar :my body knows because the nightmares are starting up and it feels like hot steel pokers are stabbing through my belly when it gets close to dusk :

    The first year was surgery after surgery and waiting for wounds to seal shut and training hard to get some ability to move and work back. There was an outpouring of Love the likes of which I had never seen. It was for me, an awakening if you will, to the compassion and care that was all around me just waiting to explode into action. I witnessed first hand a gigantic generous powerful community, galvanized by a focal point. It could have been ANY focal point, all these beautiful people wanting to help just needed a leader or a reason, something to point and press the trigger and BOOM good unleashed in every direction. It was a spectacular year :

    Most folks say , "I'm glad you recovered so well!"

     And in my head I always think, gosh I hope I DIDN'T !!!

    Because for myself what was most interesting was what was UNCOVERED.

    In many ways this second year has been more difficult. The adrenaline wore off so to speak and I watched some sad, sad things.

    Some folks I had really come to admire turned out to be self serving cowards. It really rattled me and stunned me.  My family was hurt by some of these folks actions. Seems like a lot of people had a lot of chips in the game relating to my getting shot.

    I heard people say, He should have ducked.

    I heard people collected money in my name and never passed it on to pay the medical bills as they were supposed to.

    I actually heard someone tell me that my getting shot wasn't about me. And in many ways they were right.

    I don't see any gain in discussing the disillusionment process really. Other than this,

    I'm grateful: Ultimately disillusionment is a good thing.

    Because illusion keeps you from the truth.

    So here is some truth I would like to share, please read because it hurt me to learn these things.

    For a few weeks we acknowledged the fragility of life. For a few weeks we told each other we loved each other frequently, we called and checked on one another. The routine is disrespectful of the gift. The shift from brilliantly focused love and community back to daily operations per normal has been really hard for me.

    We uncovered the awareness that time is a precious gift and should never be squandered or wasted. We uncovered a powerful community, a community seeking to exercise its goodness in benevolent action.

    I don't want to recover.
    I want to continue to UNCOVER.

    When your Systema becomes about covering yourself rather than knowing yourself you've already lost.

Gene Smithson

PS. The galvanizing event has passed, but the latent good is there....someone point in a direction and unleash this flood of goodness.


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