This one, it finally ended in death. I had to shoot a feral dog in self-defense w/ one shot from my H&K USP .40 as it tried to lunge towards me. Since it was clear-cut self-defense, no investigation was needed and I got my pistol back after a records check by the responding officer, who even treated me like another brother officer. I thought at first that I was gonna get treated as a criminal and go though the legal machine. I did everything by the book, kept calm, and appeared non-threatening. I also had my CH permit at the time of the shooting. Good thing I practiced CQ shooting, which was of great help for this situation. This is what I experienced as what most have experienced after the shot was fired:
1. Auditory Exclusion (The .40 pistol I fired sounded more like a firecracker because of the adrenaline dump)
2. Rapid Heartbeat (still kept my breathing controlled, though)
3. Mark of Cane Complex (Had some remorse since the animal didn't knew right from wrong. Also couldn't forget the graphic images and the 15 sec. suffering the deceased dog went through.)
4. Sleeplessness (I woke up after 5 hrs. and it took me 3 hrs. to go into a deep sleep)
5. Everything seemed to go so fast, instead of slow motion.
Things That Others Experienced I Didn't Go Through:
1. loss of appetite
2. uncontrolled crying/brooding
3. chastisement from friends/family
4. uncontrolled shaking/diarrhea of the mouth
5. nightmares (dream of the adversary coming back to life)
6. fine loss of motor skills
7. loss of bowel control
8. tunnel vision
9. depression/lack of interest in leisure or hobbies/sex
10. events seeming to move in slow motion
Ways to Cope:
1. Talking it out with someone you trust.
2. Trusting in your faith that God or some higher being understands and is forgiving.
3. Accepting the fact that you have to sometimes take a life to protect yourself and your actions are justifiable.
4. Being grateful that you survivied.
5. Positive self-talk.
6. intense, physical training
7. humor
8. sex (lots of it)